2020 has been a long year. It’s felt long. It’s been an emotional year, too. Rather than physically achieving a lot, it’s seemed like I’ve achieved more mentally. I’m sure Covid-19 threw a wrench into everyone’s brain. Anyway, without further ado, here are the things I’m most proud of myself for. An introspective view of my personal struggles and small wins that deserve a moment of reflection before any consideration is given to New Year’s Resolutions.
Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this, and I sincerely hope that you also reflect on the things that deserve your acknowledgement. It is often the things we do unobserved that are our biggest breakthroughs.
SELF DEVELOPMENT
I finally begun studying myself. Back in 2017, I began journaling and asking myself important questions. However, it’s only now that I’ve begun reviewing old journals to observe what was going through my mind during challenging periods. What things affected my self confidence and mood. What consistently drives me, and what should I do more of to create ongoing feelings of progress and fulfillment.
I’ve discovered that my fears have changed over the last three years. Three years ago, my top fears were unexpectedly losing my job, somehow becoming a single mum, developing some physical disability, and being poor. Today, my fears have changed, and are now focused around time. Diminishing time. Spending extensive time working a job that doesn’t let me travel the world. Having less strength and energy, and fewer opportunities. Fear of an inability to prioritise my health and ambitions and draw these toward me.
That aside, I’ve managed some mental hurdles. I’ve navigated quarantine in Spain, England, and in Korea, all within the space of a month. At the onset of covid-19 and sudden applied restrictions, I panicked and fled to Europe. Unexpected and unprepared for social isolation, I was terrified. When I arrived in Spain, the virus followed, and days later, we went into lockdown. There, I found it very challenging to be in quarantine with family members who controlled the space, particularly frequent covid-19 broadcast alerts. When I look back on this time in retrospect, I’ve realized that I manage my input very carefully to reduce feelings of fear and anxiety. I guess I operate in a chosen censored existence, like a horse with blinkers, and reduce external input helps me stay focused and calm.
I’ve begun monitoring my Automatic Negative Thoughts (named ANTS by Dr. Daniel Aymen) and even begun changing my automatic disempowering responses. Lately, I’ve identified that the best way to avoid thinking negatively is to keep my mind focused on positive things at the outset. Start my morning with a specific routine that puts me in a calm and positive state. However, inevitably, my mind slips into its old routine of finding evidence that ‘I’m not good enough.’ Lately though, I’ve been catching these thoughts, and either switching my thoughts right away, journaling about the situation, praying for guidance, or discussing the situation with a close friend who can help me look at the situation objectively. This has been one of the most profound and impactful areas of progress in 2020.
In addition to the novels which I just read for fun, I have listened to several books (I’m subscribed to Audible) and taken lots of notes. Here they are, along with some of my favourite take-aways.
Principles
Instead of feeling frustrated or overwhelmed, I saw pain as nature’s reminder that there was something for me to learn. Encountering pain and figuring out the lessons they were trying to give me became sort of a game for me. The more I played it, the better I became, and the less painful those situations became.
Ray Dalio
Sometimes You Win. Sometimes You Learn
There are plenty of roads that lead to nowhere, and plenty of people who will invite you to follow you there. Every minute you spend with the wrong people takes away from the time you have with the right ones.
John C. Maxwell
The Power of Habit
Understanding the cues (triggers) and cravings driving your habits won’t make them go away, but will help give you a way to plan how to change the pattern.
Charles Duhigg
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
It simply makes no difference how good the intentions are or how good the rhetoric is. If there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for prominent success. Trust is the glue of life.
Stephen R. Covey
I’m excited for my upcoming read, I Will Teach You to Be Rich, by Ramit Sethi. I have a extensive list of books I’ll to listen to in 2021. Let me know what’s on your list in the comments below!
LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS
One of the major pivoting points to improving my brain sanity was releasing a year-long intimate relationship. I had allowed this situation to cause me a lot of emotional pain. I had been dating someone who I really cared about, but I gradually learned that we had different ideas about how long we would stay together. After returning from Europe, I decided to end the relationship. And after two months of not talking, he contacted me out of the blue to insist we meet. I’d find out from him that he was now engaged to be married to someone back home, and he felt he needed to get that off his chest. I felt shocked, and walked away, again… I write this all so compactly, but the truth is that the whole thing was a super emotionally-painful experience. There were several red flags which I should have noticed, but I was stubborn. It took a discussion with one of my close friends which figuratively slapped me in the face to realize that I had to walk away from this relationship and never look back.
My major take-away from this experience was that I discovered that I take intimate relationships seriously, and that having the awkward conversations early prevents misunderstandings. Both persons must know what each party wants from a relationship, and if your partner’s expectations don’t sinc with yours, reserve your attentions for attracting someone who loves you back and wants a similar future. It was a bloody hard lesson to learn, but I’m grateful for this gem.
Thankfully, I have other amazing relationships that I’m so thankful for. In addition to the support I’ve received from my family, particularly aunties Anna, Piri, Angela, papa, mama, and my sister Viv, I’ve built a handful of good friendships. My YouTuber friend, Paul, my writer friend, Vincent, my globe-trotting friend, Marcella, and my work colleague and fellow Brit, Laura. My relationships with old friends, Danish, Miranda and Van have continued to deepen. I am truly grateful for these good people in my life. They are my checks and balances. My supporters. My advisors. I’m so fortunate we can share part of our life journey together.
HEALTH
I wrote a recipe book back in 2018 on the Keto diet. The principal reason was that I began noticing that my energy wasn’t what it was before. I’d look in the mirror and say, “But you still look the same. You can’t actually be aging!” Long story short, I realized that to feel good, I had no choice but to start eating better.
Download from Amazon to any device
One of my 2020 goals was to buy a-hell-of-a-lot-more veggies, which is what I did and continue to do. More recently, I’ve also almost completely cut out bread (on bread, lectins and gut digestion, look up Dr. Stephen Gundry). I’m learning about health, and regularly watch Tom Bilyeu’s Health Theory. I’m interested in the Wim Hof breathing technique, Ben Greenfield’s approach to slow strength workouts, Dr. Daniel Aymen’s work on dealing with negative self-talk, and Dr. Joe Dispenza’s approach to meditation and gratitude. I try to grasp the connection of diet, gut health, physical strength, and managing your mind. I could talk extensively on this topic and would love to share more details about my mentors and my personal practice, and perhaps I’ll publish on that in the future.
JOB
Very briefly, I was promoted at work to be a senior teacher. There’s not much to it really. I am now a lot more involved in the training of new teachers as we open new schools. I enjoy training, and I seriously love the responsibility because I genuinely love teaching and helping people. Very soon, I’ll also be interviewing and assessing students who apply to our school, and I’m simply thrilled for the opportunity to learn a new skill.
FINANCE
Let’s just say that I didn’t really set a savings goal, but I’m pretty sure that if I had, I’d have beaten it. My current goal is to begin earning a steady income from my YouTube channel, and I intend to be able to report happily on this topic this time next year! Please send me your blessings and feel free to guide me as I figure out what I’m most skilled at.
SIDE HUSTLE
As most of you know, my brand, travelandtash, is my passion. My baby. I do something every day to build different sides of my business. It started out as just traveling, taking photos or video clips on my devices, and then beginning to write articles about places that left an impression on me. Later, I also began writing about challenging life experiences.
In 2018, I began to record videos, and as an expat living in Asia, travelandtash YouTube and Instagram eventually began to focus more exclusively on travel-related themes. I diverted my other interests into alternate spaces, including my RELATIONSHIPS page, my HEALTH page, and my MINDSET page. And over the course of 2020, I’ve managed to maintain these platforms and pages to varying degrees of success.
I’ve also invested in my business. I used skillshare.com to teach me how to use one of the best video editing software applications currently available. My skills as an editor have improved immensely over the last year, and this is surely due to my persistence to just keep learning. I bought a phone (my first smart phone ever), and upgraded my laptop, specifically for the purposes of editing videos. I bought a mod and tripod for my GoPro Hero 8 to improve stability and sound. I’ve been experimenting with video styles, including presenting Korean history, telling old travel stories, and daily vlogging to really hone-in on where exactly my richest skill-set is. Finally, I collaborated with my first two Korean travel companies, and am so excited to do more of that in 2021.
I’m truly blessed that I have the freedom to pursue what I love. That I have identified what kind of future is my ideal, and I believe that I deserve to create and revel in a blessed and abundant future.
Once you decide to believe you can learn anything, your life will change forever.
Tom Bilyeu
Thank you so much for reading this far. Has anything here resonated for you or do you have any questions? Drop it in the comments below.
I’d like to know how I can better share my experiences to help others.
Natasha~
Tasha is author of Attract and Retain a Fulfilling Relationship.
Cover images by Danish Memood
Check out a previous travel adventure! See the link below.
4 Days with a Female Backpacker in Pangkor MALAYSIA