Is there such a thing as too much health consciousness when when it comes to protecting yourself from the Corona Virus? The implications of physical harm from contracting COVID-19 can be serious, but there’s another plague spreading because of this fear. It’s a mental mind-fu*k. We need to be talking about this. The following is my private story about why I needed to leave Korea.
A week and a half week ago, I learned that my work suddenly had to close temporarily.
There had been two thousand cases of coronavirus and five deaths, and our clients were alarmed enough to isolate, and that pretty much stopped us in our tracks. It was anything but ‘business as usual.’
So, I stayed at home, mostly. Staying in my bedsit was occasionally interrupted by a trip to buy food, or a little visit to the local empty cafes near me. If I didn’t leave my room, aka apartment, on occasion I’d go nuts.
As the week progressed, it became clear that myself and colleagues had to stay at home. There WAS no work to do.
I wandered my local area, searching for cafes to visit that I had never visited before. As time went by, friends would repeat instructions, “Wear a mask if you have to go out. Stay at home. Don’t use public transport.”
By Friday, I began to worry because despite health hazards, rent, bills, and food had to be addressed.
Over the first seven days where I didn’t work, I met a friend on Thursday, and two on Saturday. By Sunday, I was tearful and needed a good hug. I needed to be around more friends. I was letting the isolation play cruel-mind games on me, and until that point, hadn’t realized just how much love and affection I receive from the people I meet on a daily basis which I had previously taken for granted.
The following Monday, my colleagues and I went into work trying to find a way to address the developing situation. Coronavirus was proving not just a health threat, but a potential threat to the local economy and that included us. We were all a bag of nerves, wondering about our future with our company, and were looking at different ways to keep it ticking over. I felt so anxious about the situation that by the time we left that evening, I was almost shaking.
When I arrived home, I realized that the self-imposed isolation, feelings of loneliness and stress, worries about out future, and adapting to a very different work scene was taking it’s toll. After talking things over with my boyfriend, he suggested returning to my home country for a little while.
The following day, I walked into a conversation reviewing coronavirus statistics at work. The constant chatter about the virus, how many deaths had occurred thus far, and discussion on protective measures was worse than being alone. I felt fragile, longed for family support, and needed to focus on positive things.
That same evening, my flight was booked, and the next day, I packed my stuff, said goodbye to my boyfriend and colleages, and by Thursday, was at Incheon airport, Seoul.
I write this sitting on an almost plane at thirty-eight thousand feet above ground. I have been on the plane for seven hours and counted fourteen rows of empty seats. I’m so relieved to get away from the the constant reminders to not go out, to not using public transport. The empty shops and cafes. The solitude. The fear mongering which, while keeping us physically safe, was separating partners, dividing friends, and in my case, brought me to the brink of despair.
Now as I travel to see my family, some voice worries about my place of departure. Am I bringing the coronavirus from Korea? Will I infect them? I feel sad. I felt isolated in Seoul. Few friends were prepared to meet me, and now that I am so close to be enveloped by the love and support that I so desperately need, I may not receive it.
What are your thoughts on Coronavirus and isolation, and how should expats living abroad handle self isolation while being so far from home?
THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ THIS.
THIS IS MY OWN PRIVATE EXPERIENCE, AND WHILE IT’S NOT MY PLACE TO EVALUATE THE SERIOUSNESS OF CORONAVIRUS, MY HOPE IS TO HIGHLIGHT ANOTHER VERY SERIOUS EPIDEMIC. THAT OF FACING SOCIAL ISOLATION AND RESULTING EXPAT LONELINESS.
Tasha is author of Keto Brunches and Attract and Retain a Fulfilling Relationship.
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