The first few days after discovering the romance scam, my days were a blur. I was so overwhelmed by the reality that my future ‘life partner’ was in fact a catfish. The scammer disappeared with my heart and money, and it felt like my adrenaline switch had been on for untold hours. I couldn’t relax or think clearly. Why did I fall for this romance scammer? I felt like I was constantly on the verge of hyperventilating, and was struggling to just stay calm enough to look ‘normal’ around other people.
Despite the scam, I was trying to continue working my job as normal. I was in shock, and simultaneously trying to deal with the police report and the banks involved, while living in Korea as an expat. I had to get my report translated into Korean, and bring a translator with me to visit my case investigator. Reporting the romance scam seemed more stressful that it should have been. I had so many things to figure out, especially because I felt like there were few friends equipped to advise me on what to do in this situation. My mind was just exhausted. However, one unforgettable moment was when my brain switched off for a couple of minutes during a meditation exercise, and I was finally able to relax. It felt like bliss.
Meditation had been part of my morning routine for years, but at this time, I stepped up my game and found a meditation practice specifically for anxiety. I knew that former monk, Jay Shetty, had made meditation videos and posted them on YouTube, but I hadn’t been aware that his wife Radhi had also produced videos.
Perhaps it was her voice, or just the exact words that she had chosen for her affirmations, but I felt like the meditation video was made for me. The head rotation method helped me feel connected to my body again. It gave me a break from the endless chatter in my mind, a relief from my thoughts. I needed that peace so desperately at that time.
WE’RE NOT ALONE
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, that nobody understands, or can advise you, you’re not alone. After working as an English teacher in Seoul Korea for six years, a romance scammer stole many years of my teacher savings. About $44,000 within three months. I didn’t even know what a cyber scam was, or even heard of the term, “romance scams” or “dating scam”. The Tinder Swindler had just come out two months prior, and I hadn’t watched it yet. I was quite naive to just how many scammers stalked dating websites, Facebook, and other social media sites, searching for lonely (mostly older) victims looking for a relationship.
When the romance scam ended, I was shocked and felt wrecked, as if I was a shell of the person I had been. Sometimes, I caught myself standing there, just stunned. I couldn’t believe that this happened to me. That I had invited someone poisonous into my peaceful space, a person whose intentions I didn’t read. Whose red flags, I failed to act on.
I AM BIGGER THAN THIS
But thankfully, things have changed. I changed. I began healing quickly using a combination of habits I’d learned for five years from psychology experts. After going through a painful trauma several years earlier, I began to seek out mentors, began journaling, learning through online courses and seminars. I’m now helping people who refuse to allow similar experiences to emotionally destroy them, heal quicker, and more deeply.
I knew that I had do something to help other victims, and I finally decided to focus on documenting how I’ve been healing at an accelerated rate, by creating a step-by-step short mini-course. I wanted to teach in detail, the methods I used that moved the needle in my own healing journey, so other victims had some guidance. How I managed to forgive myself, and how I managed to invite sleep once again. I created the course I wish I had had when I had been scammed, and now offer one-to-one sessions where you can talk directly with me.
I know that some people like myself just don’t reach out to professional therapists for many reasons, and I wanted to take everything useful I had learned from some of the best professionals to deeply help with this type of trauma.
I also begun a Facebook community for women, a safe space, where scammed victims can get support from veteran women who have been through similar experiences, and where veterans use their knowledge to support the women who need help. We’re not a group of highly skilled therapists, but we’re the ‘troops on the ground’, the survivors, who pull each other up during our low moments. Join our community when you are ready. We are here to help.
Blessings,
Natasha~
- Enrol in the healing course on Mastermind.
- Join our Facebook Always Healing community for women.
- Email me directly at alwayshealing@proton.me with questions, and for one-on-one sessions.